It’s Alright (Fall in Love Again)

This Song is About Opportunity

When I first wrote this song, I was coming back from a depressed period in my life. I wrote it after Never Meant to Fall into… and honestly, it could not have been a more appropriate time. Summer was returning after a very cold winter and I was starting to get involved in modeling at school.

I was running a lot and averaging around 6 miles each run. I don’t run as much now, because I am a hard gainer and this kept me skinny for a long time. Some of the things that I enjoyed during this time were Boston Pride 2015 parade and Squeezebox Slam 2015. Pride was really liberating for me and I think it was my first pride. In Boston, I want to say most of the city is gay, so there is always a huge turnout and even Elizabeth Warren attends annually.

When I finished the song It’s Alright (Fall in Love Again), I wasn’t in a relationship. I think I had broken up with my girlfriend of 5 months a few months prior. She was great and I can say for a fact that she was one of the most beneficial relationships I have ever had.

I wrote this song about love in general, but I’m sure that there were a few people that were really on my mind. I was still sad, but I was in a better place than I had been before and in retrospect, I can understand that I got to that place by being with people that treated me right. Love is something that is unfortunate to lose, but it can be found anew almost anywhere. You shouldn’t waste it and it’s sad how often relationships fall apart for mundane reasons. However, when you think about it, it is inevitable that you will eventually fall back into love – even when you feel empty at present. In the end, if you lose it all, then that just means that the love lost was worth living. The more it hurts, the more meaningful the experience was for you and that is something to cherish, regardless of how much pain it may cause.

Sage Suede – It’s Alright (Fall in Love Again)

It’s Alright (Fall in Love Again):

I never said it would be forever
You had me on a tether
I used to love you at your leisure
I never knew why or whether we would

/Chorus/
Fall in love again
It was so long ago I held your hand
If we can resolve our differences
If we can stay in present tense

I don’t know what’s the matter
Things have never been better
And if your lips want mine
Maybe it’ll happen one more time
to

//Chorus//

Your pepper print dress
Waves to me you’re gone
Time was short
But for me it felt so long
Fingers so soft,
I want them in my palms
I have never felt so enthralled
to

//Chorus//

But one day
I’ll find my heart turned gold

It’s alright
It’s alright to lose it all

I know that most of my earlier songs are a bit sad, but I was speaking from the heart. Thanks for listening. 

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Never Meant to Fall into…

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Never Meant to Fall into… by Sage Suede

I wrote this song when I was really sad. It’s not something that I spent too much time on, as far as instrumentation and such.
I felt really awful about myself and my life at the time. I had roommates that discriminated against me and made me feel like less of a person. I felt like no one valued me for who I was and it was hard for me to ever be myself in what felt like a hostile place. I had a few friends, but most of them were extremely shallow and I can count on my hand the number that I stayed friends with after college. Most of my friends feel the same way about the people they met. It’s unfortunate how hard it is to welcome people into our lives as we get older…

Everything Was Freezing Cold

At the time, I had just moved to Boston. It was really cold and everyone was very cold to me. In my first two years of college we had something like 2 hurricanes, several blizzards and the marathon bombing. I did enjoy aspects of living there, like the places I went and the friends that did have respect for me, but there were so few of them that it made me very depressed. I was suicidal and this was actually before I went through some tough times. I don’t care if anyone believes me, but you can hear the pain in my voice. I don’t need to disclose everything about myself to know what I was going through.

There Are Two Versions of This Song

The first version is un-mastered and the second one is mastered. Initially I just wrote the song to express myself. That’s the main reason I ever wrote any music and the number one reason I wrote poems was because I was sad. I don’t think I would perform this song, because it would make me really sad. I am also not sure if I could because performing usually makes me happy. It is a side of myself that is so vulnerable, that I couldn’t stand to open myself to criticism. I know that it still has all of the issues that could be criticized, but that isn’t something that bothers me in an online freebie. The main reason I have it online is so that people can see my progress.

In both versions, I played ukulele. I intentionally used dissonant chords. In the re-mastered version, I also used a ping pong vocal effect and some reverb on the ukulele. I made the unfortunate mistake of leaving extra space at the end of the re-mastered version, but what better way to show my progress than to leave my mistakes out in the open! That’s how you know I’m a real artist that actually composes their music from start to finish.

Sage Suede – Never Meant to Fall Into

Un-mastered

Re-Mastered


Why am I still dizzy?
You know you’ve got me in a tizzy, missy
If I drown inside your whirlpool
I was never meant to fall into

/Chorus/
Love
It’s a blessing and a curse
I feel like I might burst
I can feel it in my nerves
The NSA found out first

You keep me on your little finger
dangling from a string
I am not man, I’m mouse
When we’re playing this here game//

Why am I not breathing
The air’s too thin and I’m left wheezing
If I’m writhing in your orbit
I was never meant to fall into

//Chorus//
Why do I feel fizzy?
I’m Wonka bonkers, my feet are lifting
If I die while in your current
I was never meant to fall into

//Chorus//
I don’t feel like singing anymore
I’m empty and devoid and
I’m made too much noise and
I like to see you flutter
but all I can do is stutter
now what words could I mutter
you’re melting me like butter
I’ve always been soft and I
don’t know how to love quite right

My heart is bruised and bloodied
it’s like a potato chip in the sink
that no one wants to eat
or like a piece of rotten meat

You just look so lovely
I feel like sunscreen on a hippo
awkward, not located right
somehow it’s skin is still too moist

my heart might walk away
if you don’t want me
I may die today
and if you look my way
I lose control, heart palpitates

//Chorus//
Why am I still leaning
on this broken rail above this cliff
if I fall into the abyss
I was never meant to fall into
Love

I have a feeling that the NSA laughed when I wrote this, because they probably did listen to it when I didn’t have a fanbase yet. lol

Both versions of this are on 2018 Freebies & Bangers!

Pretty Eyes

AJ bluejay 60s sunglasses

Sage Suede – Pretty Eyes

The first song I recorded as Sage Suede is called Pretty Eyes. I wrote this about a girl I used to date. I was a lot more sad about the breakup back then, so it may be a little dramatic.

The day I wrote this, I went clubbing with my roommate in college and a few of his friends. I was messaging her while we were out but one of his friends told me that I shouldn’t because she would think he was too interested.

I feel like one of the biggest struggles our generation faces is trying to tell people we care about them, when we still have to appear nonchalant and unattached. Disinterest is sexy, but it can also mean you aren’t interested at all. Unfortunately, that line is very blurred and often people go after others that have no love for them, just because they don’t give them much attention. Another problem with this air of nonchalance is if both sides play that game and it keeps them from ever falling in love.

I’ve always been the kind of person that loves a lot and won’t hold back with my feelings. As a result, it’s not uncommon for me to scare people away by appearing too interested. I also just talk way too much for most people. I don’t feel bad admitting that and it doesn’t bother me, because if someone doesn’t like me for who I am, then we just aren’t right for each other.

Composition of Pretty Eyes

The song is a bit said lyrically and ends talking about the idea in Buddhism that everything you have you will eventually lose. That is a sad sentiment, but it’s also very real and Buddhists usually talk about this concept at funerals. If you are aware that you will eventually lose everything, then you won’t hold onto things as strongly and it is easier to accept change. I learned this from meditation seminars at a meditation school. I don’t want to say which one, because I worked there for a few months too.

I wrote this song on a Saturday morning before an acting audition at Boston University. I’m trying to improve my stage presence by getting more experience in acting and modeling. I didn’t get the role, but I have become involved in NUStage at Northeastern University and met a lot of cool people. You can learn more about my acting experience on my portfolio page.

Let me know what you think of the song by commenting on this blog post. At the time I wrote it, I was going by AJ Bluejay.

Pretty Eyes:
Chorus//

Punish me with pretty eyes
hurt me with your perfect smile
you’re so unbelievable
that I can’t say a word
without being weird
The dating game is high and dry
my name to you is just some guy
the drinks at this club
cost a pretty dime
you’re like a feather
when the wind blows you pass me by//

Want to receive my love arrow?
You know I ain’t no pharaoh
I don’t have the gold
and I don’t know what I’m scared of

It I tell you that I care
all you’ll do is stare
leave me to get drunk and pass out
walking up the stairs

//Chorus//

Our generation won’t commit
we already have too much shit
I don’t care if it sounds dishonest
I want to love you lawless
I’m not desperate, I just care for you
but to play the game we stay as two

as soon as I express myself
you’d rather be with someone else
does he treat you like a queen
or is he just using you for some pussy
You won’t want me until we’re thirty
and by then we’ll live in different countries

//Chorus//

These words ring on deaf ears
You’d rather hear a song about
Shaking your ass and making cash
You lost me at the ATM
it’s all as the Buddha said
we’ve been on and off for years
everything is temporary

Thanks for checking out my work, more soon to come!

previously know as,

AJ bluejay 60s sunglasses
Photo by: Kaylan Tran
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