Bird Girl

Another Song About a Previous Relationship

I wrote this about my first relationship in college. It’s about both being in a romantic relationship, as well as a strong, independent women. My ex was mentally strong and it is a quality that I admired about her. She wore bright red lipstick a lot and she was actually really cool. That’s why I say “an unifinished nest” because there is probably some iteration of reality, in which we did stay together. I felt a good connection with her and we had a positive relationship together.

She Liked France a Lot

She stopped showering for a while, just because it was something that she told me was typical of French culture. She said that they didn’t shower and they wore a lot of cologne. We were together for about half a year, but we broke up while we spent a summer apart. She went to France and I went to Brazil for a brief study abroad. We didn’t see each other after the month ended either, as we had to go home before the commencement of other classes. A few months apart is difficult for any relationship. Sometimes I wonder how I would have acted if I was more mature in that situation.

How That Relationship Ended

While I was in Brazil, I went to a bar called Al Capone’s with a bunch of friends. I met an attractive woman in a red corset and we really hit it off. I danced with her and then we made out for a while. We didn’t hook up or anything, but she left her business card in my pocket.

I didn’t feel bad about it and that’s how I knew I needed to end my relationship. I do not condone cheating and I am not about that life. When I didn’t feel bad about violating my relationship (in my opinion), I cut things off. It was out of consideration for my partner’s feelings, because I didn’t want to lead her on. I did miss her and we had a lot of good times together, but it just wasn’t the right relationship for me. Maybe it was just the timing and of course, being in different countries is a huge burden on any couple. I don’t think that I was entirely emotionally ready for a relationship at that point in time. I don’t regret it and I actually place a lot of value in her as a person.

Unfortunately, We Weren’t Able to Stay Friends

We tried to stay friends for a while, but we just weren’t ever able to communicate the same way again. At the end of college, we hung out a little bit with mutuals and we were able to be cool with each other. After college, we were able to catch up a little bit online but that’s where things left off. I’m glad that she was so positive and strong throughout that entire ordeal and I wish I could have been a better person for her. In a way, this song is me trying to immortalize what we used to have. Most relationships that start freshmen year of college are doomed to fail anyway.

What About the Red Corset Girl?

Umm, she put her business card in my pocket when she left. She was a wedding planner in Brazil and I didn’t call her while I was still there. Leaving a relationship was enough burden for me at that point and I wasn’t ready for another one. I used to wish that I had gotten to know her, but I was only in Brazil for one month so there wasn’t much hope. I thought about friending her on Facebook after returning to The U.S., but by then it didn’t seem worth it anymore. It would be cool, if we have a chance encounter some day but it’s highly unlikely.

Musical Composition of Bird Girl

I wrote this song on guitar, before I created the drum beat. This is one of the songs I made with ProTools, when I still had access to it on the Northeastern University library computers. I only use Ableton now, because ProTools is ridiculously expensive. I think that this song came together rather nicely and had a good cohesiveness to it. Lyrically, it has powerful metaphors that illustrate a really interesting scenario. The metaphors don’t exactly mirror the way our relationship was, but they have a raunchy feeling to them that captures the sensual energy of our relationship.

Bird Girl lyrics by Sage Suede


Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

all the happiest dreams

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

like an unfinished nest
on a motel out west
not free to park
but with a fully stocked mini bar

Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

all close contact
I’ll like your ear
you’ll text back

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

spread your wings and fly high
with apathy that never dies

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

young love electrified

Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

And now I’m left with nothing
but all this would be loving
just took a red corset
another’s lips and now I’m
lost again

Yes, I lick ears and that is usually a turn on for musicians lol. I didn’t train my cat to do that though.

How Can I

How Can I call you my lover Sage Suede

How Can I is A Song About Millennial Dating

Nowadays, most people meet through dating apps and it is great to meet someone worthwhile, but oftentimes they are already talking to other people before they even meet you. So it’s optimistic to even expect dating to go anywhere when you meet someone from an app.

Why is it Optimistic?

Unfortunately, dating apps make everyone a commodity. No matter how attractive you are, it just takes a few more swipes to meet someone else.

Tip: Try To Ask Your Date About Their Dating Life

If you talk with someone and they are an honest person, they should tell you where you stand. They should also give you an idea of whether or not they are seeing multiple people, or have already met someone before you. It can feel deceptive when someone is dating others, but keep in mind that you may not be at the exclusive phase yet. They could also be polyamorous and if that’s the case, then you need to be okay with it for your relationship to work. I have had people break up with me because I’m not polyamorous and that doesn’t offend me. They just wanted something that I couldn’t give them. This song isn’t really that relevant to polyamory, unless you are speaking in terms of someone that isn’t ready to date you at all.

Modern Dating Sometimes Has a Longer Dating Phase

I have met couples that were married after one or two weeks of dating. They are a bit older than me, so I presume that it is a generational difference, however that can also be the case when you meet someone that is just right for you. However, with all of these apps and fewer societal obligations to get married, many people of younger generations are waiting longer to get married. As a result, the dating phase can last much longer than expected.

You won’t get to be exclusive with people as quickly as in the past. It’s also not nearly as easy, when they can search for others on the internet and that is the premise of this song.

How can you even call someone a lover, if they are unwilling to settle down with you?

That question is much longer than How Can I, which also evokes a lack of the ability to put this meaning into words.

It’s Hard to Find Consistency in Your Teens and Early Twenties

However, as many people get older, there is more desire to settle down. It’s nothing to get worked up about, because it won’t get you anywhere. Most people don’t know what they want at a young age and they can’t even identify what they need in a partner. Just be clear with your partner when you would like to be exclusive and don’t try to change who they are.

dating advice sage suede

Sometimes, you can get someone to be exclusive with you rather quickly, but usually it takes at least a few dates and several weeks. Since I’m talking about this concept, I would also like to mention that you don’t want to tell someone you love them too early on, because it makes you seem desperate. Sometimes this can be have poor consequences, early in a relationship.

You really can’t put a time frame on when it’s okay to say “I love you,” but if I ventured a wild guess I would say 3 months. You really need to read your partner’s body language though and if you feel that close to them, they may be in a similar place.

Musical Composition of How Can I

This song is written with an alternative rock feeling to it. It is most similar in style to Cleopatra on DIAMONDBACK Demo. It also features a drum machine and electric guitar. I would like to get a higher quality guitar pedal in the future, so the distortion is a little more clear. This was another step in the right direction for me, as the songwriting process taught me more about rock vocals and what I want to sound like.

How Can I lyrics by Sage Suede


I was looking at the moon
la lune
and she says be there soon
shut in like a coccoon
butterfly
too dark to go and fly
rubberneck dirt road
killing my flow
not sure
how to cope
when it’s just picking up a fight
a girl just like any other

How can I call you my lover
when we still want another
hand and hand but wondering
why do we even bother
perfect is a dirty word
don’t think I have ever heard
a single lie just quite as dry
but loving you feels just right

I was walking down the street
you’d speak
beautiful words muttered
under your breath
confess to me
through my window shutters
seen so many details of so many females
like to hear her tale
read her like an email
must be like a single light
a spark that struck me just right

How can I call you my lover
when we still want another
hand and hand but wondering
why do we even bother
perfect is a dirty word
don’t think I have ever heard
a single lie just quite as dry
but loving you feels just right

farewell
but you cast your spell
I wanted to see it through
you rang the bell
and my pride fell
I’ll come crawling
back to you
warm fuzzy full it’s like
orange fills my soul
this light
could keep me there
could make me stare
into your eyes
and kiss you tonight

How can I call you my lover
when we still want another
hand and hand but wondering
why do we even bother
perfect is a dirty word
don’t think I have ever heard
a single lie just quite as dry
but loving you feels just right

Thanks for visiting my site! Photos for this post are by Adam Perri and  you can find more on my modeling portfolio.
I am now located in Austin, TX and available for modeling opportunities.

Sexy in That Sweater

Sage Suede - Sexy in That Sweater

I’m Just Getting Started:

I recorded Sexy in That Sweater a few months ago and posted the video on YouTube. I received a few requests for airplay by radio stations through YouTube, but idk how genuine those were. One of them was in Italy, I think… Anyways, It’s been a difficult process establishing this site and music, but I still have a lot to learn about music promotion before anyone will really hear what I have made.

Today, I revisited the song Sexy in that Sweater and made a lot of improvements. The version from DIAMONDBACK Demo is below, followed by the lyrics and the first video version. If you think it’s cool, let me know and I’ll head further in this direction for the future.

The Meaning Behind Sexy in that Sweater:

This song is about one of my best friends in high school. She is very intelligent and we had a lot of deep conversations together. When I talk about the sweater, it’s because she loves sweaters and it’s also a metaphor because the mental side of her was so beautiful, that we didn’t need that physical side. I know it may sound a little odd and some douchey guy will probably say something half-minded about my interest in women, but that isn’t why I wrote this. She is beautiful and there may have been some of that physicality, but I wrote this out of genuine appreciation for someone special to me. She loves sweaters, so that was metaphorically the best way for me to show that appreciation for her in words. I want to think that wherever she is today, she is wearing a sweater and enjoying being in that sweater. She got me into sweaters too tbh, we thrifted for them at Goodwill all the time.

When I talk about being empty and hurt in the lyrics, that is more about me and the place I was at when I wrote the song. I don’t even feel like that was the place I was at, when I knew her better. She is such a cool person and I never did anything to make her that way. We weren’t able to stay friends due to unusual circumstances, but if she ever finds this some day, I want her to know that I will always cherish the time we spent together. I may talk about my hurt in this song, but that is because I miss what we used to share. I’m sure she is even cooler now, than she was when I knew her. Who knows? Maybe some day we will be cool again.

Sage Suede – Sexy in that Sweater:

You look sexy in that sweater
I can’t bear to think how better
you made me feel such pleasure
now never take it off
please don’t take it off

we were made to be together
but we both got tanned to leather
I’m still pushing out the tannins
I’m freshly squeezed for you
but we can’t be cool.
—-
close the blinds, the dreamy lights
convoluted things tonight
say a prayer, I want you here
but I’m not ready for a fight

shut me up, I never knew
how to be whole for you
we were both empty vessels
.. and we’re still empty
—-
You look sexy in that sweater
I can’t bear to think how better
you made me feel such pleasure
now never take it off
please don’t take it off

we were made to be together
but we both got tanned to leather
I’m still pushing out the tannins
I’m freshly squeezed for you
but we can’t be cool.
—-
dead living, I’m so stuck
a haunted groom, made to be cellar dweller
shut out by all the fools
we could’ve made failure out of their cruel rules
but now we’re living on the tightrope
and I’m trip tripped up over you
somehow I still shudder
It’s not my brain or the shame
It’s my memories of you
—-
You look sexy in that sweater
I can’t bear to think how better
you made me feel such pleasure
now never take it off
please don’t take it off

we were made to be together
but we both got tanned to leather
I’m still pushing out the tannins
I’m freshly squeezed for you
but we can’t be cool.

Sage Suede – Sexy in That Sweater (older video version)

Note: I cut out a verse since the YouTube video and play it a lot faster now… Anyways, it’s gonna be on DIAMONDBACK Demo soon. Thanks for visiting! 😀

Demoback

Sage Suede – Demoback

I wrote these songs, because I intended to use them in DIAMONDBACK Demo. Washboard didn’t make the cut, solely because my computer crashed and I lost the file. I have never had expensive equipment and I am always making due with what I have. At the time I recorded these, I was able to utilize the recording studio at Northeastern University. I got into Northeastern by working hard in high school and graduating at the top of my class. I was only able to go, because I got the dean’s half-tuition scholarship, a scholarship from Pedernales and Huggs-Trust. Otherwise, I would have drowned in debt.

Musical Style of this Demo

It’s challenging combining electric guitar with electronic beats, because it can easily be overpowering. Then I have problems with wanting to play guitar in complicated rhythms that I can’t do while singing at the same time. I used a drum machine app for Cleopatra and Bird Girl, but will probably generate drum beats with Ableton from now on, because it gives me more flexibility with the rhythm. Before, I was struggling to reinstall ableton after my hard drive crashed, but my dad helped me through that – Thanks Dad!

Collaborations & Artistic Vision

I’m not sure what the future will bring and I may start doing more collaborations to bring more energy into my work. I can also play the instruments for songwriting, but I’m not going to be able to do keyboards and guitar live simultaneously, so I’ll have to work with somebody else on that. I think that initially I will just sing with a background track, because I always use syncopated rhythms and that makes it too difficult to play guitar at the same time. I guess for now I just need to finish the songs and can figure that out later.

My goal is to sound like I’m playing in a deserted night club, or like an underground fashion show in a warehouse. Something that is vaguely grungy, but also sophisticated with moody electronic beats. Still these are just ideas and I’ll see what ends up happening once I get deeper into the music.

This is a journey for me and as I evolve, so will my music. Thanks for listening!

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Julep (Acoustic)

Sage Suede – Julep (Acoustic)

I recorded Julep as an acoustic song. It wasn’t something that I chose to continue working on afterwards, even though my original intention was to create it in a more completed version with a backing track. You can see the video for Julep below and on my YouTube channel.

Always Making Progress on My Music

I am still evolving a lot as an artist and even as this was recorded a few days ago, my sound has changed a lot. Recently, this is mostly evident in the way I sing. If you’ve been following me, you may have noticed my name changed from AJ Bluejay to Sage Suede. This was for a variety of reasons but mostly I feel like I’m a different person and the music I had released to date as AJ Bluejay was too soft to really represent who I am. I was in a sad place when I wrote a lot of those songs and most of them are too sad for me to even perform. Sage Suede has a stronger presence, will feature better production quality and better embodies who I am as a person.

Why Sage Suede?

I Love Herbal Medicine

I chose the name Sage, because I have been strongly influenced by herbal medicine. Whenever I get sick, I turn to my trusty Herbal Remedies dictionary by Asa Hershoff, N.D. and Andrea Rotelli, N.D.. It has herbs listed by ailment, so I can look up whatever I, or a friend, is afflicted with. Then I can find herbs that may help. I’ve cured a lot of my ailments this way, but I don’t necessarily recommend it. Herbs tend to be a little safer than pharmaceuticals, depending on which herb, but you should still take note of side effects and any inherent risks.

I Enjoy Studying Magic & Spirituality

I also like the name Sage because it is a voice of someone that people look to for guidance and I would like to influence people to make healthy life choices. A sage is also a spiritual leader and is associated with magical circles. In addition, Sage is used in cleansing rituals and it’s just generally a positive thing.

So Why Are You Suede? Isn’t That a Fabric?

I like fashion and thought suede was good as a descriptive term because my voice can be soft, but also tough like leather. I know that I have a little bit of roughness vocally and that’s something that I embrace and often emphasize in my music. The biggest downside is my search rankings and I really hope I start showing up on search engines above a bunch of average looking boots (please hear my prayers Alfabet, Gods of SEO)… update: idk if saying it as a prayer worked but my SEO is great now.

Sage Suede – Julep

This song was partially about a girl I dated. She was pretty but we weren’t actually compatible in the end. I wish that things had panned out a little differently, so that we could have had a fighting chance, but it was never really there. We happened to hang out on a very beautiful day at the reservoir. I don’t feel like she ever really gave me a chance but that isn’t important. This is just a song with some general feelings I had at the time.

Julep, come quick
had an ankle bracelet
sun-kissed freckles
brown eyes bespeckled

short hair, you don’t care
about the way they speak
you know you’re beautiful
and they can be so mean

take my troubles dump them in the sea

Julep, shorten
the path to my serenity
the happy is inside of me

I complain, when it rains
I down black coffee while you read
your mysteries

boiled that tiger down
into a tea

your cosmic ray
brightens black celophane
their plastic pop
glowed when you sang

you had a way
to kill the hurt in me
with rose gold lips
you have me happily

You said touch builds desire
memory of foam
you taught me that troubles are
where you let them roam

your specialty was speaking low
softer than the lake
I saw you late last Friday night
I felt adrenaline

Julep, come quick
had an ankle bracelet
sun-kissed freckles
brown eyes bespeckled

short hair, you don’t care
about the way they speak
you know you’re beautiful
and they can be so mean

mesmerized by your thighs
tight leggings

Julep, shorten
the path to my serenity
the happy is inside of me

I complain, when it rains
I down black coffee while you read
your mysteries

let’s stay home
we’ll have peaches and cream

Sage Suede Bird Girl Recording
I recorded Bird Girl in the studio at Northeastern University this week.

Finishing Up College & Rushing on DIAMONDBACK Demo

My last semester at Northeastern University is this spring and I am rushing to finish DIAMONDBACK Demo, while I still have free access to the recording studio in the library. I feel like I’m constantly interacting with people that want to tear me down, but then again it’s basically been that way my entire life, so I’m glad I have lived in Boston. I needed the strength and aggression that Bostonians have to make it through conflicts in my life. As someone that grew up in Austin, I used to be a little too passive and that is a better way to treat others, but I needed to have that aggression as well. Tbh, I was probably a little too aggressive leaving Boston.

I Have Been Writing Music For a Long Time

I have been writing acoustic songs since high school, but no one has heard them because I have a high standard of quality. I also dabbled in beat production starting in middle school and took a free audio engineering course at Austin Community College in high school. I have performed in two musical revues for more singing experience through NUStage and did musical theater in high school, solely to improve my singing voice. I didn’t actually enjoy the music in musicals and I consider it to be way too cheesy, in a way that is practically unreal. However, I dedicated my time to it and grew vocally from my experiences.

Sage Suede is an Original Musician

Ultimately, my style is my own and I refuse to be an archetype, to copy blindly, or sacrifice my creativity and personality to fit into a genre. My music can’t exist without creativity and although it could become a business some day, I don’t ever want to make music that isn’t true to who I am. That will take a bit of learning on my part, because most of my early songs are way too sad, but I will start to express happier aspects of my reality.

A long time coming

I have had a passion for music since I was a child. I used to always be shy and scared as a performer, so I found the judgments of others difficult to cope with. In spite of that, I have performed throughout my life at concerts, on stages, for memorial services, etc. and it’s become more natural to me. I am done living in the shadow of a mediocre music industry and I’m not letting people step on me anymore. My music is gonna be released one way or another and I hope to entertain by being genuine, incorporating a wide-variety of my personal musical influences and to pull it all together in a way that allows people to see themselves as individuals, independent of societal definitions of happiness. I am making music to express myself, not to be someone else’s definition of ideal and as I grow, I want my fans to grow with me.

A lot of you are good friends of mine and I just want you to know that I really appreciate your interest in my music. Please share.

I still have a very long road ahead of me and I need all the help I can get!

  1. 01 - Bird Girl 2:51
  2. 02 - Cleopatra (snake queen) 2:34
  3. 03 - How Can I 2:23
  4. 04 - Un Photo De Toi Nu 3:02
  5. 05 - Sexy in that Sweater 2:22
  6. 06 - Lazy Sunday with You (Shaky Lips) 2:03
  7. 07 - It's Alright (Fall in Love Again) 3:53
  8. 08 - Uh Huh 2:48
  9. 09 - Bring my Diamondback 3:39