Bird Girl

Another Song About a Previous Relationship

I wrote this about my first relationship in college. It’s about both being in a romantic relationship, as well as a strong, independent women. My ex was mentally strong and it is a quality that I admired about her. She wore bright red lipstick a lot and she was actually really cool. That’s why I say “an unifinished nest” because there is probably some iteration of reality, in which we did stay together. I felt a good connection with her and we had a positive relationship together.

She Liked France a Lot

She stopped showering for a while, just because it was something that she told me was typical of French culture. She said that they didn’t shower and they wore a lot of cologne. We were together for about half a year, but we broke up while we spent a summer apart. She went to France and I went to Brazil for a brief study abroad. We didn’t see each other after the month ended either, as we had to go home before the commencement of other classes. A few months apart is difficult for any relationship. Sometimes I wonder how I would have acted if I was more mature in that situation.

How That Relationship Ended

While I was in Brazil, I went to a bar called Al Capone’s with a bunch of friends. I met an attractive woman in a red corset and we really hit it off. I danced with her and then we made out for a while. We didn’t hook up or anything, but she left her business card in my pocket.

I didn’t feel bad about it and that’s how I knew I needed to end my relationship. I do not condone cheating and I am not about that life. When I didn’t feel bad about violating my relationship (in my opinion), I cut things off. It was out of consideration for my partner’s feelings, because I didn’t want to lead her on. I did miss her and we had a lot of good times together, but it just wasn’t the right relationship for me. Maybe it was just the timing and of course, being in different countries is a huge burden on any couple. I don’t think that I was entirely emotionally ready for a relationship at that point in time. I don’t regret it and I actually place a lot of value in her as a person.

Unfortunately, We Weren’t Able to Stay Friends

We tried to stay friends for a while, but we just weren’t ever able to communicate the same way again. At the end of college, we hung out a little bit with mutuals and we were able to be cool with each other. After college, we were able to catch up a little bit online but that’s where things left off. I’m glad that she was so positive and strong throughout that entire ordeal and I wish I could have been a better person for her. In a way, this song is me trying to immortalize what we used to have. Most relationships that start freshmen year of college are doomed to fail anyway.

What About the Red Corset Girl?

Umm, she put her business card in my pocket when she left. She was a wedding planner in Brazil and I didn’t call her while I was still there. Leaving a relationship was enough burden for me at that point and I wasn’t ready for another one. I used to wish that I had gotten to know her, but I was only in Brazil for one month so there wasn’t much hope. I thought about friending her on Facebook after returning to The U.S., but by then it didn’t seem worth it anymore. It would be cool, if we have a chance encounter some day but it’s highly unlikely.

Musical Composition of Bird Girl

I wrote this song on guitar, before I created the drum beat. This is one of the songs I made with ProTools, when I still had access to it on the Northeastern University library computers. I only use Ableton now, because ProTools is ridiculously expensive. I think that this song came together rather nicely and had a good cohesiveness to it. Lyrically, it has powerful metaphors that illustrate a really interesting scenario. The metaphors don’t exactly mirror the way our relationship was, but they have a raunchy feeling to them that captures the sensual energy of our relationship.

Bird Girl lyrics by Sage Suede


Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

all the happiest dreams

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

like an unfinished nest
on a motel out west
not free to park
but with a fully stocked mini bar

Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

all close contact
I’ll like your ear
you’ll text back

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

it might’ve been
it could’ve been
it should’ve been
it would’ve been

spread your wings and fly high
with apathy that never dies

it had to be
it couldn’t be
it was an incomplete masterpiece

young love electrified

Bird Girl
you liked to be stern
always had a sweater on
you let things unfurl

Bird Girl
you rarely had makeup on
if you did was red lipstick
with dark eyes said I’m #1

Bird Girl
you didn’t need to shower
if you did, I’d probably join you
and we’d stay there for an hour like a
full moon
rise a sensual tide
water between her thighs
and the shower curtain fell again

And now I’m left with nothing
but all this would be loving
just took a red corset
another’s lips and now I’m
lost again

Yes, I lick ears and that is usually a turn on for musicians lol. I didn’t train my cat to do that though.

Julep (Acoustic)

Sage Suede – Julep (Acoustic)

I recorded Julep as an acoustic song. It wasn’t something that I chose to continue working on afterwards, even though my original intention was to create it in a more completed version with a backing track. You can see the video for Julep below and on my YouTube channel.

Always Making Progress on My Music

I am still evolving a lot as an artist and even as this was recorded a few days ago, my sound has changed a lot. Recently, this is mostly evident in the way I sing. If you’ve been following me, you may have noticed my name changed from AJ Bluejay to Sage Suede. This was for a variety of reasons but mostly I feel like I’m a different person and the music I had released to date as AJ Bluejay was too soft to really represent who I am. I was in a sad place when I wrote a lot of those songs and most of them are too sad for me to even perform. Sage Suede has a stronger presence, will feature better production quality and better embodies who I am as a person.

Why Sage Suede?

I Love Herbal Medicine

I chose the name Sage, because I have been strongly influenced by herbal medicine. Whenever I get sick, I turn to my trusty Herbal Remedies dictionary by Asa Hershoff, N.D. and Andrea Rotelli, N.D.. It has herbs listed by ailment, so I can look up whatever I, or a friend, is afflicted with. Then I can find herbs that may help. I’ve cured a lot of my ailments this way, but I don’t necessarily recommend it. Herbs tend to be a little safer than pharmaceuticals, depending on which herb, but you should still take note of side effects and any inherent risks.

I Enjoy Studying Magic & Spirituality

I also like the name Sage because it is a voice of someone that people look to for guidance and I would like to influence people to make healthy life choices. A sage is also a spiritual leader and is associated with magical circles. In addition, Sage is used in cleansing rituals and it’s just generally a positive thing.

So Why Are You Suede? Isn’t That a Fabric?

I like fashion and thought suede was good as a descriptive term because my voice can be soft, but also tough like leather. I know that I have a little bit of roughness vocally and that’s something that I embrace and often emphasize in my music. The biggest downside is my search rankings and I really hope I start showing up on search engines above a bunch of average looking boots (please hear my prayers Alfabet, Gods of SEO)… update: idk if saying it as a prayer worked but my SEO is great now.

Sage Suede – Julep

This song was partially about a girl I dated. She was pretty but we weren’t actually compatible in the end. I wish that things had panned out a little differently, so that we could have had a fighting chance, but it was never really there. We happened to hang out on a very beautiful day at the reservoir. I don’t feel like she ever really gave me a chance but that isn’t important. This is just a song with some general feelings I had at the time.

Julep, come quick
had an ankle bracelet
sun-kissed freckles
brown eyes bespeckled

short hair, you don’t care
about the way they speak
you know you’re beautiful
and they can be so mean

take my troubles dump them in the sea

Julep, shorten
the path to my serenity
the happy is inside of me

I complain, when it rains
I down black coffee while you read
your mysteries

boiled that tiger down
into a tea

your cosmic ray
brightens black celophane
their plastic pop
glowed when you sang

you had a way
to kill the hurt in me
with rose gold lips
you have me happily

You said touch builds desire
memory of foam
you taught me that troubles are
where you let them roam

your specialty was speaking low
softer than the lake
I saw you late last Friday night
I felt adrenaline

Julep, come quick
had an ankle bracelet
sun-kissed freckles
brown eyes bespeckled

short hair, you don’t care
about the way they speak
you know you’re beautiful
and they can be so mean

mesmerized by your thighs
tight leggings

Julep, shorten
the path to my serenity
the happy is inside of me

I complain, when it rains
I down black coffee while you read
your mysteries

let’s stay home
we’ll have peaches and cream

Sage Suede Bird Girl Recording
I recorded Bird Girl in the studio at Northeastern University this week.

Finishing Up College & Rushing on DIAMONDBACK Demo

My last semester at Northeastern University is this spring and I am rushing to finish DIAMONDBACK Demo, while I still have free access to the recording studio in the library. I feel like I’m constantly interacting with people that want to tear me down, but then again it’s basically been that way my entire life, so I’m glad I have lived in Boston. I needed the strength and aggression that Bostonians have to make it through conflicts in my life. As someone that grew up in Austin, I used to be a little too passive and that is a better way to treat others, but I needed to have that aggression as well. Tbh, I was probably a little too aggressive leaving Boston.

I Have Been Writing Music For a Long Time

I have been writing acoustic songs since high school, but no one has heard them because I have a high standard of quality. I also dabbled in beat production starting in middle school and took a free audio engineering course at Austin Community College in high school. I have performed in two musical revues for more singing experience through NUStage and did musical theater in high school, solely to improve my singing voice. I didn’t actually enjoy the music in musicals and I consider it to be way too cheesy, in a way that is practically unreal. However, I dedicated my time to it and grew vocally from my experiences.

Sage Suede is an Original Musician

Ultimately, my style is my own and I refuse to be an archetype, to copy blindly, or sacrifice my creativity and personality to fit into a genre. My music can’t exist without creativity and although it could become a business some day, I don’t ever want to make music that isn’t true to who I am. That will take a bit of learning on my part, because most of my early songs are way too sad, but I will start to express happier aspects of my reality.

A long time coming

I have had a passion for music since I was a child. I used to always be shy and scared as a performer, so I found the judgments of others difficult to cope with. In spite of that, I have performed throughout my life at concerts, on stages, for memorial services, etc. and it’s become more natural to me. I am done living in the shadow of a mediocre music industry and I’m not letting people step on me anymore. My music is gonna be released one way or another and I hope to entertain by being genuine, incorporating a wide-variety of my personal musical influences and to pull it all together in a way that allows people to see themselves as individuals, independent of societal definitions of happiness. I am making music to express myself, not to be someone else’s definition of ideal and as I grow, I want my fans to grow with me.

A lot of you are good friends of mine and I just want you to know that I really appreciate your interest in my music. Please share.

I still have a very long road ahead of me and I need all the help I can get!

Pretty Eyes

AJ bluejay 60s sunglasses

Sage Suede – Pretty Eyes

The first song I recorded as Sage Suede is called Pretty Eyes. I wrote this about a girl I used to date. I was a lot more sad about the breakup back then, so it may be a little dramatic.

The day I wrote this, I went clubbing with my roommate in college and a few of his friends. I was messaging her while we were out but one of his friends told me that I shouldn’t because she would think he was too interested.

I feel like one of the biggest struggles our generation faces is trying to tell people we care about them, when we still have to appear nonchalant and unattached. Disinterest is sexy, but it can also mean you aren’t interested at all. Unfortunately, that line is very blurred and often people go after others that have no love for them, just because they don’t give them much attention. Another problem with this air of nonchalance is if both sides play that game and it keeps them from ever falling in love.

I’ve always been the kind of person that loves a lot and won’t hold back with my feelings. As a result, it’s not uncommon for me to scare people away by appearing too interested. I also just talk way too much for most people. I don’t feel bad admitting that and it doesn’t bother me, because if someone doesn’t like me for who I am, then we just aren’t right for each other.

Composition of Pretty Eyes

The song is a bit said lyrically and ends talking about the idea in Buddhism that everything you have you will eventually lose. That is a sad sentiment, but it’s also very real and Buddhists usually talk about this concept at funerals. If you are aware that you will eventually lose everything, then you won’t hold onto things as strongly and it is easier to accept change. I learned this from meditation seminars at a meditation school. I don’t want to say which one, because I worked there for a few months too.

I wrote this song on a Saturday morning before an acting audition at Boston University. I’m trying to improve my stage presence by getting more experience in acting and modeling. I didn’t get the role, but I have become involved in NUStage at Northeastern University and met a lot of cool people. You can learn more about my acting experience on my portfolio page.

Let me know what you think of the song by commenting on this blog post. At the time I wrote it, I was going by AJ Bluejay.

Pretty Eyes:
Chorus//

Punish me with pretty eyes
hurt me with your perfect smile
you’re so unbelievable
that I can’t say a word
without being weird
The dating game is high and dry
my name to you is just some guy
the drinks at this club
cost a pretty dime
you’re like a feather
when the wind blows you pass me by//

Want to receive my love arrow?
You know I ain’t no pharaoh
I don’t have the gold
and I don’t know what I’m scared of

It I tell you that I care
all you’ll do is stare
leave me to get drunk and pass out
walking up the stairs

//Chorus//

Our generation won’t commit
we already have too much shit
I don’t care if it sounds dishonest
I want to love you lawless
I’m not desperate, I just care for you
but to play the game we stay as two

as soon as I express myself
you’d rather be with someone else
does he treat you like a queen
or is he just using you for some pussy
You won’t want me until we’re thirty
and by then we’ll live in different countries

//Chorus//

These words ring on deaf ears
You’d rather hear a song about
Shaking your ass and making cash
You lost me at the ATM
it’s all as the Buddha said
we’ve been on and off for years
everything is temporary

Thanks for checking out my work, more soon to come!

previously know as,

AJ bluejay 60s sunglasses
Photo by: Kaylan Tran
  1. 01 - Bird Girl 2:51
  2. 02 - Cleopatra (snake queen) 2:34
  3. 03 - How Can I 2:23
  4. 04 - Un Photo De Toi Nu 3:02
  5. 05 - Sexy in that Sweater 2:22
  6. 06 - Lazy Sunday with You (Shaky Lips) 2:03
  7. 07 - It's Alright (Fall in Love Again) 3:53
  8. 08 - Uh Huh 2:48
  9. 09 - Bring my Diamondback 3:39