An Understatement: I Was Not Happy When I Wrote This
There are a lot of 7s in today’s date so what better time to talk about this song. If you read the lyrics or listen to this song at all, then you would know that it has nothing to do with demonology, or the study of demons. If anything, it’s about demons within others trying to oppress your spirit and possibly, even intending to physically destroy you.
Around the time I wrote this song, I met some people that tried to ruin my life. In a nutshell, they tried to destroy everything about me. I don’t plan to perform this song, but I included it on DIAMONDBACK Demo, so that people would know that I was coming from a breaking point. I had to overcome these demonic people and luckily, I won, or I would essentially be dead right now.
I Still Feel Shy & Depressed
I struggled with a lot of depression and anxiety during the past few years. I’m still shy, so it’s taken a lot of practice for me to branch out and become a performer. I am only a bit extroverted to begin with and I’m skilled at marketing and social media, but I don’t crave attention in social settings.
I used to be so shy that I would choke anytime I auditioned for a theatrical role, or did a clarinet competition. I’ve been doing different kinds of performances throughout my life that have led me to be more confident and outgoing, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have struggled with depression. Most of my poetry from my younger years is too sad to share, as were most of my songs when I started sharing music online. You’ll definitely see that in the first few posts on this site. You can also find some of this poetry on SageSuede.Tumblr.com.
Overcoming Difficulties Makes You Stronger
I felt like it was important to share this song on DIAMONDBACK demo, because it shows a little more about negative experiences that helped to shape me into the person I am today. I don’t want to align myself with these feelings, which is why I don’t plan to perform this song (unless people really like it, it has a few likes on soundcloud). These feelings are still a part of who I am, but I actively choose to be happy because it’s better for me. I am trying my best to keep my aura clear and to focus on positive materialization.
Others Will Try to Drag You Down
I want my fans to hear this song, because I have encountered a lot of people in my life that make the self-centered assumption that I am overly-confident, or that I “need to be more grounded in reality.” Some of them will attack us just for acting happy, because they think that our happiness is a sign that we don’t feel sad. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I act happy for the people around me, not for myself. I project happiness outward, so that I will receive it in return. It has nothing to do with how I feel.
Some People Try to Tell Me That I’m “Not Even a Musician, or a Model”
They want to discourage me and tell me that my pursuits in music are futile, by comparing me to the most popular musicians and models in all of human history… That scale is absurd and it’s sad how some people act when they get the internet in front of them. I am a musician and a model, because I have the proof online. It’s what I do, not what they say and I am mostly talking about this now for the benefit of y’all – the readers. Don’t take it to heart if people say that you aren’t successful based on some absurd large scale person that is one of the most famous people of all time. That’s comical, if anything and it doesn’t make any sense.
About The Song Demons Want Cash Flow
This song is not about businessman. I am technically a businessman by profession, so I obviously don’t want to demonize everyone with a cash flow statement lol. I am still an artist in my free time and I am working towards making this my only job.
One Vocal, Acoustic Take
I recorded this song in one take and I didn’t do much editing at all, except for EQ. It is more conceptual, than professionally made and is about my feelings at the time. It is neither reflective of my overall abilities to make audio edits, nor my vocal talent; I didn’t use any comping, which is the industry standard nowadays. Comping is when you take the best vocal clips from various takes and put it together to make the highest possible quality vocal track. I did almost no comping at all on DIAMONDBACK Demo, so my takes are better than people would assume.
This Song Features Many Lyrics About My Inner Struggles
You could call them personal demons as well, but many of these inner struggles were forced upon me by others. I have grown to overcome them, in ways that I never expected and I am thankful to have made it through this very difficult period in my life.
There is a lyric about “my dying drones.” It is in terms of the fact that we are always getting closer to death and most all entertainment industries are youth-centric; that means that it is harder and harder to simply be a part of music or modeling as I age, even though these are things I love to do. I’m not going to give up, just because mediocre young artists will get more attention, simply based on their ability to pull young kids into their fan-base. I’ve been through too much to let others affect the outcome of my life and I am doing this all independently, so it’s up to me to make it happen. None of this would exist right now if I hadn’t worked for it throughout my entire life and it will continue growing, because I won’t give up.
If You Work Hard, You Will Succeed.
No one can tell you that you aren’t capable of something, when you are doing it. Believe in the things that you work hard at, because they are things that you have already achieved. People can try to talk you down, but words can only have so much influence. If you keep working, you will get to where you are going and there’s no reason to ever feel bad because there are people that are more famous than you. It’s sad that artists are constantly being pitted against each other like it’s some kind of Roman circus.
Why is Sage Suede Not More Famous?
I have a lot of student debt. I’m not a trust fund baby that can just buy everything they want. I had to work hard to get into a good college on several scholarships and I got jobs directly out of college through 2 internships and 2 co-ops that I completed during classes.
I wrote DIAMONDBACK Demo While Studying and/or Working Full-Time.
I don’t regret my decision to get an education, because otherwise everything would have fallen apart. I needed to have money to be capable of doing anything and as much as I would love to make Sage Suede my entire life, I had to prioritize the cold hard reality that I need money to survive. I am getting closer to my goals, but since I can’t afford to pay other people to make my dreams a reality, I am still trucking forward on my own. I am very happy for all of my collaborators however. For more collaboratons, check out my videos!
On a random note, I was the Devil last Halloween, because my friend had a free costume in their attic. If you make up any conspiracy theories about that I will laugh, because I just told you why I wore it. I didn’t have any money for a costume at the time and it was just for fun, not to summon some kind of entity.
Sage Suede – The Demons Want Cash Flow
is not fool again
is not torn apart
are not slippery
but you can pass smooth
through my fingers
years of clingers
and the social feelers
and the club rat climb
not getting higher
I feel so tired
lost all desire
and some has been wants
to shout until I’m breathless soft
suede leather delighter
a light bastion
or it all comes
I don’t need the sound
of meddlers in my
until the cake comes to me
under the flickering
pires of ire
that I’m so bougee
but my money is like loose leaf
sometimes I wish
I wasn’t weird
but I won’t disappear
I’m not slow
although the demons want cash flow
their business is built on my pain anyway
when I can think
I won’t let you make me weak
You may have a toxic ploy
but you can’t
use me like a toy
I’ll turn the tide
I’ll strike you down…
into the ground
Let me know what you think in the comments and I’ll create more soon!